I forgot to mention . . . in my "personal worship" time earlier today, my youngest child came and sat in my lap. He just sat there with me as I continued to sing and pray to God. With my foot going numb and feeling uncomfortable, I continued singing but made some adjustments to our sitting arrangements. I managed to hold him somewhat like I did when I cradled my kids as babies/toddlers. Through it all, he kept his eyes closed. Tired from a sleepover he was at last night and to the sounds of Rita Springer music, he surrendered to sweet sleep. You know the kind of sleep that makes your body twitch as you finally let your body rest, that's what happened in my arms. It was so precious, and amazingly I was able to get him tucked into a bed without bonking his head on anything or waking him up. Cherish the memory.
Interruption . . . My oldest son is awesome! (He just walked in and asked what I was working on because it looks weird, ha! ha! He also told me to mention that he is awesome on the blog.)
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Confession
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
I've been doing things my own way lately. With the busyness of the Christmas Holidays and everything else that was on my plate this December, I lost touch with God and it's been catching up with me. It happens so mildly, the way that I lean on my own understanding. Life appears to be okay as I go about my days, saying "Shucks, I've got so much to do today . . . ugh! I should spend some time with God today, but . . . maybe later." And so it goes, until everything irritates the heck out of me and I begin snapping at my family and I feel like just barricading myself in a room with food and tv. Gee, is that a sign that I'm not bringing God into my day and allowing Him to guide me?
So I just had one of my "personal worship" times here at home in front of my computer. Sounds kind of awkward, but for me it's my truest form of surrender. My "personal worship" times are: 1) popping in a praise & worship dvd (Hillsong - Hope) 2) playing some worship cds, or 3) playing Rita Springer music from her myspace page. Basically, I just sing along and focus on surrendering whatever I'm dealing with to God. Sometimes, I'll play a particular song over and over. Sometimes it's a few songs, sometimes it's just one, but I sing until I feel a letting go of myself. Call it, a humbling surrender of my circumstances.
With surrendering to God, my circumstances slowly begin to change. Most times it will require my fessing up things that I've been avoiding. For instance, I'm going to have to tell my sweet husband that I appreciate the thoughtfulness of his Christmas gift, but I want to return it and get some shoes that I desperately need. You can't really wear flip flops when it's 40something degrees outside, and I'm tired of resorting to my beat up tenny shoes or dressy shoes. It's gonna be a hard gift to return . . . concert tickets. That means trying to get someone to buy them on craigslist.
I'm getting somewhat nauseous just thinking of having to talk with my husband about it all. That's what I get for not being honest because of not wanting to hurt his feelings or make him upset. I don't like confrontation. I don't like rocking the boat. I used to be a people pleaser, and it's hard sometimes to not go back to that life. God has been faithful to guide me through that process, but it's not always a walk in the park. Sometimes, it feels like walking through what I envision it might be like to attempt to walk through a windy snow storm.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-34
Thank you God for gently reminding me to surrender it all to You for You truly do care for me. I'm sorry for neglecting our time together, for giving rushed prayers of thanks or petitions, for plain doing things my way the last couple of weeks.
I've been doing things my own way lately. With the busyness of the Christmas Holidays and everything else that was on my plate this December, I lost touch with God and it's been catching up with me. It happens so mildly, the way that I lean on my own understanding. Life appears to be okay as I go about my days, saying "Shucks, I've got so much to do today . . . ugh! I should spend some time with God today, but . . . maybe later." And so it goes, until everything irritates the heck out of me and I begin snapping at my family and I feel like just barricading myself in a room with food and tv. Gee, is that a sign that I'm not bringing God into my day and allowing Him to guide me?
So I just had one of my "personal worship" times here at home in front of my computer. Sounds kind of awkward, but for me it's my truest form of surrender. My "personal worship" times are: 1) popping in a praise & worship dvd (Hillsong - Hope) 2) playing some worship cds, or 3) playing Rita Springer music from her myspace page. Basically, I just sing along and focus on surrendering whatever I'm dealing with to God. Sometimes, I'll play a particular song over and over. Sometimes it's a few songs, sometimes it's just one, but I sing until I feel a letting go of myself. Call it, a humbling surrender of my circumstances.
With surrendering to God, my circumstances slowly begin to change. Most times it will require my fessing up things that I've been avoiding. For instance, I'm going to have to tell my sweet husband that I appreciate the thoughtfulness of his Christmas gift, but I want to return it and get some shoes that I desperately need. You can't really wear flip flops when it's 40something degrees outside, and I'm tired of resorting to my beat up tenny shoes or dressy shoes. It's gonna be a hard gift to return . . . concert tickets. That means trying to get someone to buy them on craigslist.
I'm getting somewhat nauseous just thinking of having to talk with my husband about it all. That's what I get for not being honest because of not wanting to hurt his feelings or make him upset. I don't like confrontation. I don't like rocking the boat. I used to be a people pleaser, and it's hard sometimes to not go back to that life. God has been faithful to guide me through that process, but it's not always a walk in the park. Sometimes, it feels like walking through what I envision it might be like to attempt to walk through a windy snow storm.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-34
Thank you God for gently reminding me to surrender it all to You for You truly do care for me. I'm sorry for neglecting our time together, for giving rushed prayers of thanks or petitions, for plain doing things my way the last couple of weeks.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
College Station here we come!
Okay, my thinking is getting fuzzy but I'll attempt a second blog post. It's 3am and I need to get to bed. We'll be having a Thanksgiving meal in about 36 hours, yummmmm! So glad that I don't have to cook this year. Kind of feeling guilty, sort of, well maybe just a little, but I'm extremely grateful for my sister-in-law hosting Thanksgiving this year. Our oldest son and his pop warner team have a big game on Saturday in College Station. So, honestly . . . I can't even begin to think about having to prepare a home and food to host a Thanksgiving meal without getting nauseous or close to hyperventilating. Maria, THANK YOU for hosting Thanksgiving this year, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Did I mention that I'm glad I don't have to cook this year?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Is blogging for me?
Handwritten journaling is a favorite, yet cumbersome thing for me. So, I've decided to try blogging. I'll admit that I'm totally clueless and also somewhat unsure of this whole blogging thing. But hey, I can give it a try, right? And if it's not for me, then I'll just ditch blogging.
Today was an unusually packed Sunday for me. Our family was out of town this weekend, so to give us some time to sleep we opted to try the later church service time. The sermon was the last of a series on "sex". Hard to believe that a church talked about sex from the pulpit? It's been a great series, and I highly recommend listening to the sermons online at www.reallife.org.
After church . . . it was a brief trip to the meat market for fresh flour tortillas (yummmmm!), home to fix lunch for the family, a tiny bit of chores, then back to church for a seminar on figuring out our spiritual gifts, etc. We're fairly new to this church and I'm very appreciative of the emphasis on helping members grow in their individual spiritual walks. It makes me feel like they really care about helping us reach our full potential in Christ, and not just getting the most out of our finances or service.
Once the seminar was over, it was back home where my husband took care of the younger kiddos while I took our oldest to Target. It was precious alone time just hanging out, having some Starbucks together, talking about Christmas gift ideas for the family, and just talking about stuff without having to share attention with anyone else. Those are some of my favorite times with my kids. When it's just me and one of them hanging out. I think they feel special having alone time with Mom or Dad.
By the time we got home, the younger kids were in bed. Looking at the yuck of housework that needs to be done downstairs made me . . . basically, run upstairs with a library book and get ready for bed. Of course, I got online checking emails, the kid's cafeteria accounts and grades, etc. And here I am starting a blog. Well, I'm ready to hit the hay now. Nighty nite!
Today was an unusually packed Sunday for me. Our family was out of town this weekend, so to give us some time to sleep we opted to try the later church service time. The sermon was the last of a series on "sex". Hard to believe that a church talked about sex from the pulpit? It's been a great series, and I highly recommend listening to the sermons online at www.reallife.org.
After church . . . it was a brief trip to the meat market for fresh flour tortillas (yummmmm!), home to fix lunch for the family, a tiny bit of chores, then back to church for a seminar on figuring out our spiritual gifts, etc. We're fairly new to this church and I'm very appreciative of the emphasis on helping members grow in their individual spiritual walks. It makes me feel like they really care about helping us reach our full potential in Christ, and not just getting the most out of our finances or service.
Once the seminar was over, it was back home where my husband took care of the younger kiddos while I took our oldest to Target. It was precious alone time just hanging out, having some Starbucks together, talking about Christmas gift ideas for the family, and just talking about stuff without having to share attention with anyone else. Those are some of my favorite times with my kids. When it's just me and one of them hanging out. I think they feel special having alone time with Mom or Dad.
By the time we got home, the younger kids were in bed. Looking at the yuck of housework that needs to be done downstairs made me . . . basically, run upstairs with a library book and get ready for bed. Of course, I got online checking emails, the kid's cafeteria accounts and grades, etc. And here I am starting a blog. Well, I'm ready to hit the hay now. Nighty nite!
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